It’s a multifaceted responsibility being a parent – it's a journey which starts right from the day of conception, and it is a life-long journey with no holiday from the responsibility.
We should educate ourselves before the start of this journey – because the newborn who will come in this world is not coming without consent. Now-a-days, parents usually plan childbirth considering many factors like finances, settling with each other, wife settling in the new home, etc. So, now it’s only and only the responsibility of the parents to learn about parenting. There are so many guidelines available on google and people around us are also guiding on this topic. But in day-to-day life what I have observed and what my medical practice has taught me, that I want to share.
Parents should show warmth of love and affection; be supportive and understanding but they must also set clear expectations and boundaries for their children. They should explain the reasoning behind the imposed rules and encourage open communication; this will result into positive outcomes, and the child can be guided for social competence, academic achievement and emotional wellbeing.
Following are a few problems of today’s era -
1. Behaviour Issues – Rudeness – Misbehaving:
It is nothing but the outcome of parents’ fights in front of the children. The atmosphere of the house plays a major role in the social and emotional development of a child. For example, talking about the mother, if she keeps complaining about the in-laws, in front of the child then it settles in the mind of the child. When the child sees his/her father and mother complaining about his/her grandparents; the child thinks wrong about parents and develops soft corner for grandparents. And the child when grows up will possibly misbehave with the parents. So, how parents behave in front of their young kids plays a very important role in how they would behave with others. Everything right or wrong is learned by the kids by what they see their parents and family members behaving in the home.
2. Academic torture:
We are expecting those things from our children which we have not achieved in our life – but we forget every individual is different. It is wrong to impose our own wishes and desires on the child. He/she came in this world with his/her own personality. They have their own likes/dislikes. They have interest in some subjects, and some subjects may be difficult to understand. We have seen even after completion of medical or engineering or any other top notch academic syllabus, he/she is not successful in their career; the reason for the same is that they opted for their parents’ choices and not their own. And then they blame the parents for their failures all their life.
3. Expecting obedience:
We often expect discipline from our children and expect them to obey all that we say but we ourselves have not been obedient to our parents in front of our children, then how will they learn! Children always follow what their parents do. So, to teach them anything, we must do those things ourselves first. If we obey our parents, talk to them with respect; it will naturally reflect in our child’s behaviour. The child will adopt all these virtues naturally without putting on any extra efforts.
4. Not giving freedom:
We expect our children should live according to our expectation which is not acceptable. Our children must have the freedom and opportunity to work for their own ambitions and live the life of their own wish. If we always keep telling our children to do as we say or if they must take our permission in every little thing they do, then it will not let them develop. They will have a very weak decision power. They shall always stay confused all their lives. Even simple decisions like what clothes to buy will feel like a big task and ultimately, they’ll end up living as puppets being controlled by someone else.
5. Reasoning & logic:
Before expecting our children to follow everything we say, we must explain our logic and proper reasoning behind everything. Then, it would become easier for them to follow what we say. They'll develop a logical mind themselves, will be able to take the right decisions when the need may arise and guide the coming generations with the same wisdom and create a better world.
6. Importance of Habits:
There is an importance of prayer, discipline, eating nutritious food and keeping oneself away from certain bad habits like alcohol, smoking, etc. But all these must be inculcated in the life of parents first, only then will the child follow the footsteps. The parents must follow a proper routine, live a disciplined life, eat healthy food, sleep on time and the child will easily adapt to this routine because children see more than they listen. Visuals create a stronger impact to the mind.
At last, there are so many things to discuss but everything is not applicable to everyone, although the above-mentioned points are applicable to most of the cases.
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